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It was a dumb fairy tale, yet the story gnawed at my imagination. In thestories, the transformation was quick, painless and perfect. A man wouldtouch the medal to a girl's dress and morph into a real, honest-to-Godwoman in the blink of an eye. No hormones, no therapy, no treatments, nooperation. Nerds became babes and balding losers became dripping hotcheerleaders. It was a wet dream fantasy. I would jerk myself off to thedream and feel stupid afterwards.I gave up the therapy and the gender reassignment program after Mom andDad passed away, an event that threw me into a depressive spiral. Mymarriage briefly filled the void and when I parted with Jessica--I onlyhit her the once, I swear--a numbness and inertia took hold. I didn'tfight to save the marriage. Instead, the hospital and the paramedical workbegan to rule my life, its odd shifts and rhythms disturbing my ability tobuild a social life.I tried dating guys. Okay, 'dating' is not the word--the first was more arough bi-curious. We have a little breathing room now. The cable is back on. You can even start playing golf again. Why are you so set against me working?”“I know how it works! First it’ll be lunches with the girls. Then it’ll be after work drinks, then maybe a girl’s night out. I know the pattern. The wolves will flock to you, and soon you’ll be on the backseat of a car or in a cheap motel.”“So the whole reason you don’t want me to work is because you’re afraid I’ll turn into a slut? You have so little faith in me? You stop by for drinks after work with the other managers, and go out about twice a month with your friends. Is that what you do when you’re alone?”He went a little pale. “Of course not! But I see it all the time.”“Well, you won’t see it from me. I like the job, I like the people, but more importantly I like the money and we need it.”He ranted a bit longer but gave up after he saw I wouldn’t change my mind.Things got easier after a few weeks. Mark even took up golf again but only every.
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